I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
