So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I won the penis lottery.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
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Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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