We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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