Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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