I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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