You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
