a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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