I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Let's get the cat blown out
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
