Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
