girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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