I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
