i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize