We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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