I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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