we made out on top of his cat.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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