I murdered the dance floor call the cops
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
