AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
