I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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