How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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