handjob tips. give me some.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
