you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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