Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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