let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
