Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
