she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
