Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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