Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
