i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
