i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
