can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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