I smell stomach acid.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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