I don't think brook has ever known best
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
