Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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