this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize