Having a random hookup so left but love u
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
