fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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