nut hugger
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
