I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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