I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
