i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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