She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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