My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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