my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
