just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
