I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
