youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Someone signed my nipple.
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