Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
