Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
