I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
