I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
