I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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