It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
