i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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