I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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