he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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