So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
