i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
