literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
