i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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