shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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