Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
