Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You are a genius and a whore.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
