She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Success! We fucked roommates!
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