; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
