If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
